In my email, I recently got the question “I’m a girl who wants to start with girls. How do I start?”. I have long thought to write a guide to this, as I suspect there is a screaming need out there for some advice. So I was going to help you, all the desperate, girls out there. There is hope! According to the way the person formulates the question in the above manner, I suppose she initially experienced it as difficult to initiate a sexual relationship with a girl. We’ll proceed from there.
Current American research shows that lesbian women masturbate more than both heterosexual and bisexual women. As masturbation increases self-awareness and thus better sexual, genital self-confidence increases the conditions for good sex.
A penis or dildo in the vagina does not give the biggest possibility of women’s orgasm. If used by women who have sex with women, it is often seen as a complement to other activities, not as the main number. With that said, many of the encircling sex still enjoy vibrating, moving, hard and soft dildos of different size and varied form.
Women who have sex with women are making more use of the recess in their sex life. This means that they give each other at the same time enjoyment, but they are also lucky to get sexual stimulation by the other. It may also prolong the sex act to sometimes refrain from self-stimulation in the meantime.
The profile picture and your profile text are the first impressions you give when singles browse, so you definitely want to show your best there. Thus, it may also seem tempting to improve the truth a little bit, but be careful; innocently white little lies are likely to lower your chances really if they are discovered. A good trick is to let a good friend write the profile text while describing your personality. This way you get a personal tone in the text and also a natural reality check before you press Post button. As for the pictures, it is good to upload several of them. Complete the portrait image with one or more photos in full-figure, and also photos from activities or places that are extraordinarily warm to your heart. That way, other singles can get a better picture of you.
Once you have started something with someone, unfortunately, the next problem occurs: it is important not to leave. You will probably notice that the “heterosexual matrix” that you read about Bang actually exists. Even worse, it’s inside you! But it’s cool, everyone has it, it’s like mouth herpes. One gets to learn to ignore it.
So you go home with your first girl. What are you doing now? You cannot do anything! You may feel stupid. Now it’s the position where you should do two things. Be brave. Dare to do things you’ve never tested before. Shut up if you feel silly or bad in bed. Keep in mind that some people live a whole life and are silly and/or bad in bed.
Be kind to yourself. If you feel things are going too fast and you panic, you can just take it easy and say “can we chill a little” or anything like that.
An advantage of sex between girls, according to my experience, is often that it is less accomplishment-oriented than straight sex. Therefore, it’s no wonder to be a bit out of shape or weird. I do not advocate honesty in this situation. Do not say “you’re the first girl I’m with,” for example. It’s odd. You can say that when you are seriously dating this person. Then you can laugh that you did not dare say it until then.
If you really get the pressure of nervousness, just stop it. It’s okay to be a buzz killer. Worse things have happened. But do not give up on it. Let your desire lead the way, not your fear or cowardice.
Other things that may be good to consider:
It’s always okay to ask. It does not make you a noob or reveals you as “straight”. However, most sex situations still require “What do you like” communications, “I like doing this” and “Say how you want it”.
It may be good to have sex with other beginners in lesbian dating. You should not hook up with the most experienced lesbian for the first time, because there is a risk that she is quite tired of learning lesbian sex. One suggestion is to try to find another “straight” girl, so you can try it out.
Now that you’ve discovered your “new” sexuality, you’re sure to discuss this with someone. Here, however, I warn you against calling your only lesbian friend and holding a two-hour long monologue about all your “groundbreaking” discoveries. It’s not certain she wants to be your sexuality therapist just because she’s lesbian. Also do not call your straight friend, who will probably be a question mark incarnated and say annoying things. Write a diary, or find someone else in the same situation. Or write on the internet, in this comment field, for example.
There are several dating sites for bisexual and gay girls to choose from, so do some research and choose with care. You can check out lesbian dating sites reviews, and many dating sites and dating apps also offer the opportunity to try out for free. You can also ask your friends which dating sites they have tested, and what they recommend. Also, keep in mind that it should not be a dating site for lesbian dating alone – focus on finding the features you need and the type of people you can identify with. For example, there are thousands of women looking for women on big dating platforms, not necessarily exclusively top lesbian dating sites.
If you have been “straight” or did not meet anyone at all, and realize that you are sick of girls, but wondering “Where to find lesbian girls?” There are two places you can go to.
Lesbians/gay clubs. Find one on Facebook, go there, bring with you a friend or go there yourself. Feel the vibes. Dance. If you see a girl you think is cute, try to indulge her, smile and go and talk to her, so surely something fun will happen if she’s interested. Take some initiative, girls do not think it’s a turn-off.
Join a lesbian dating site. Set up “girl looking girl” on Tinder or similar app. Try to chat a little, see how it feels. Even better: go on a date, drink beer, hang out with girls. There is also a girlie variant of Grindr called Wapa (former Brenda) which are often listed as best lesbian dating sites. In any event, it makes sense to testimonials before you decide to choose one to create a profile on.